Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
