McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
