Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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