Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
