Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
