Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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