He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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