What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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