Im at strip club and am horny
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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