So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
