operation harelip BJ is a go
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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