I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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