Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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