When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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