He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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