Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my being single is dangerous.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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