So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
