drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
worst night to have a conscience
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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