If that was your dad, he is hot
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
