Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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