Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
