Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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