can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
