ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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