if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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