But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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