I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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