is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
