If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
