man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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