do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're a waste of cheezeits
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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