I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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