i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
