I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
