well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
