This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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