Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
