Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
