do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
