If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
