Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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