i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
