i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
jump out the window naked night went bad
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