Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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