Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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