party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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