the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
