kristin has been a bad kristin
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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