just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
