We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
