if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
