There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you made out with another girl for some wings
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
