Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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